Tuesday, 19 May 2026

TOON TUESDAY #103

We begin this week where we left off last week - with Keir Starmer's premiership in tatters...

Christian Adams for The Daily Telegraph
Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph
Christian Adams for The Daily Telegraph
Peter Brookes for The Times
Christian Adams for The Daily Telegraph
Steve Lillie for The Guardian
Christian Adams for The Sunday Telegraph
Patrick Blower for The Daily Telegraph
Andy Bunday on Instagram
Ella Baron for The Guardian
Morten Morland for The Times
Ben Jennings for The Guardian
Christian Adams for The Daily Telegraph
Morten Morland for The Times
Chris Riddell for The Observer
Morten Morland for The Times
Peter Brookes for The Times
Morten Morland for The Sunday Times
Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph
Nick Newman for The Sunday Times
Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph

ALISTAIR WHO?

Alistair Carns

Alistair Carns is not a name that has graced these pages too often, in fact only once before has his name appeared - as part of the ghoulish club of sick MPs who last year backed both euthanasia of adult human beings and the abortion of full term babies.  He is not exactly a household name and has only been an MP since 2024.  Despite this, he is being talked about as a potential leadership candidate and is reportedly keen on entering a leadership contest, as and when it comes.

Carns is clearly an ambitious guy and has a long track record in climbing the ladder of success.  He is an outlier in the PLP on several fronts - he has served his country, did not attend university and is a working class lad (although he abbreviates his name to 'Al' in order to appear more down to earth).  His meteoric rise through the ranks of the British Army is very impressive.  Having enlisted as a Royal Marine Commando in 1999, he progressed to the Special Boat Service and enjoyed regular promotions up to the rank of colonel in 2021.  He was to be promoted again - to brigadier - in 2024, but instead chose a new career path in politics.  He succeeded fellow Scot Steve McCabe as the MP for Birmingham Selly Oak.

He scaled Mount Everest last year at the age of 45, while he was a junior minister.  He was promoted to Armed Forces minister last September and appears to be keen on keeping up the promotions as he did during his distinguished military career.  Ladbrokes are currently offering odds of 16-1 on Carns succeeding Starmer, odds that are only bettered by Burnham, Rayner, Streeting and Miliband.  A maximum of five candidates can compete in a Labour leadership election, in addition to the incumbent.  However, that is based on an equal set of nominations for each candidate, which is an unlikely scenario.  Mr Carns would probably need a couple of the favourites to drop out if he were to get on the ballot.

His biggest drawback is recognition.  In a recent YouGov poll, Carns polled zero per cent from a sample size of 706 Labour members, compared to 47 per cent for Burnham.  Six other names polled between 31 per cent (Starmer) and one per cent (Mahmood).

How does a man who chose a career fighting in our military end up in a party that despises Britain?  It's not clear as and when he joined Labour, but we do know that he was headhunted personally by Starmer and parachuted into a safe Labour seat in the south of Birmingham.  Again, at odds with his military background, he recently opted to join in criticism of the Raise the Colours movement, which originated in Brum.

He wrote to West Midlands Police last week, making a series of allegations about Raise the Colours activists and suggesting that injunctions could be imposed in order to ban the flying of flags.  His letter can be seen below.


Flag flying in parts of Birmingham, which are not traditionally working class areas or are more ethnically diverse, can be a contentious pursuit.  Woke middle class residents in the Moseley area were outraged to find British flags flying from lamp posts in their community.  They proceeded to tear them down.

A similar backlash appears to have occurred more recently in nearby Stirchley, again another gentrified middle class area.  However, while Carns takes a one-sided approach to lay all the blame with the flag bearers, various videos online suggest that lefty mobs are challenging Raise the Colours and trying to impede their activities.  This has clearly led to street confrontations, which is not a one-sided affair Mr Carns.  And as for claiming that 'many' members of Raise the Colours are 'not from Birmingham', that's incredibly rich coming from an MP who had zero links with the city prior to being parachuted in by Starmer in 2024!

We don't see this self-publicist taking over from Starmer anytime soon, but he's quite possibly one to watch for the future.  Birmingham Selly Oak is one of the few seats that Labour could possibly retain in the event of an electoral thumping, although Carns could face stiff opposition from the Greens.  In the recent local elections, the Green Party took most of the council seats in this constituency.  Seeing as Carns re-enlisted as an army reservist just four months after being elected to Parliament, perhaps he is covering all angles in the eventuality that his political career is cut short...

Monday, 18 May 2026

MEME MONDAY #83

Another bumper crop of memes from Karl to get through.  If it seemed like a long week, imagine how Chairman Starmer felt as he took blow after blow, day after day.  Remarkably, he emerged at the end of the week still at the helm and with no apparent intention of going anywhere.  Credit where it's due, the robot is clinging on.  For now...

Mon 11 May - 287 shares
Mon 11 May - 31 shares
Mon 11 May - 8 shares
Tue 12 May - 13 shares
Tue 12 May - 10 shares
Wed 13 May - 34 shares
Wed 13 May - 35 shares.  Unfortunately for Wes, it appears that he
didn't quite have the numbers to launch an immediate leadership
challenge and he'll now have to sit on the backbenches and await the
outcome of the Makerfield by-election
Wed 13 May - 13 shares
Wed 13 May - 496 shares
Thu 14 May - 133 shares
Thu 14 May - 5 shares.  It was a good attack line by Kemi, but it seems that our
followers - like much of the country - are no longer interested in the blue half of
the Uniparty
Fri 15 May - 23 shares
Fri 15 May - 882 shares
Fri 15 May - 38 shares.  Originally posted lasted year,
when initial murmours of Burnham's attempted
leadership coup began to circulate.  The meme is
based on a famous scene from Game of Thrones in
which Stannis Baratheon's siege of Winterfell is
foiled by Ramsay Bolton (Farage)
Sat 16 May - 131 shares
Sat 16 May - 328 shares.  A reference to Starmer's ban on 11 Unite the Kingdom
speakers entering the UK.  It wasn't so long ago that he told a press conference
alongside President Trump:  "We have a long history of free speech in this
country and I'll defend it"
Sat 16 May - 246 shares
Sun 17 May - 256 shares.  JK Rowling may be at odds with the right on most
things, but no-one can deny that the author has a debilitating command of words
when it comes to rubbishing her opponents.  This was a cracking rebuke for
Starmer.
Sun 17 May - 24 shares.  The UK's solitary point at EuroVision came from the
Ukraine.  Scant return for £22billion sent to that country in the last four years!
Sun 17 May - 32 shares

A diverse series of Facebook Stories were put out last week.  Note that we are playing Devil's advocate somewhat with Starmer's leadership woes.  The truth is that we don't actually want him to go - he is the greatest threat to the Labour party in existence right now.  Toxic isn't the word!  Keep Keir!!




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KEIR'S UNITE THE KINGDOM FAIL

Keir Starmer desperately wanted violence to explode on the streets of central London on Saturday afternoon.  Yaxley-Lennon's 'Unite the Kingdom' march was taking place and our embattled PM needed a distraction from his leadership woes.  He also wanted a justification to push through his long threatened crackdown on protests.

With another big rally planned for Saturday from the far left Palestine fan club, the stage was set for a confrontation.  Starmer released a snazzy video the day prior to the marches, using it to attack only Unite the Kingdom.  Ironically, he used the same kind of multi-cultural messages that Yaxley-Lennon himself continually pumps out, while declaring that 'the full force of the law' would be brought to bear when 'hatred manifests as violence'.

If you are suffering from insomnia, Starmer's little address can be seen below (one minute watch)


Unfortunately for Starmer, this 'violence' did not erupt as he had hoped.  In fact there were less arrests at Unite the Kingdom on Saturday than there were during the previous event, held last September.  22 people were arrested at the previous rally.  However, on Saturday there were 20 arrests, although it took some time for the Metropolitan Police to arrive at this figure, with headline numbers of 43 circulating in media on Saturday evening and into Sunday.  It turns out that a dozen of the 43 arrests were made at the Palestine march, with a further 11 arrests apparently nothing to do with either march.

Half of those arrested at Unite the Kingdom were for public order offences, nine of which the Met alleged were 'hate crimes'.  Three arrests were for alleged assaults.  The widescale use of Orwellian facial recognition cameras was also bound to boost arrest numbers at the march, and indeed two of those arrested were in relation to incidents that happened in Birmingham days earlier.  It's all pretty tame compared to, say, the Notting Hill carnival, which usually results in hundreds of arrests and yet is held up by the establishment as a beacon of diversity and multi-culturalism. 

Another fail for our failing Prime Minister.  He can't unite his party, let alone the Kingdom.

Sunday, 17 May 2026

BOATWATCH #59

In spite of the rapid approach of summer, there were zero pick-ups in the Channel last week.  This was the first week without small boat interceptions in three months.  There is no obvious reason for the lull, or any indication of how long it will continue.  The drop in arrivals will provide scant respite for Chairman Starmer as he clings to power.