COUNCIL BY-ELECTIONS 23.04.26

Just the one by-election took place on Thursday, with another having been held on Wednesday.  Reform were defending Thursday's vacancy, the third week in a row they have been on the defence.  However, this time it is not a resignation - the incumbent tragically died from a brain tumour at the age of just 46.  The late Cllr Kevin Towill defected from the Conservatives prior to last year's local elections and gained the seat at the expense of his old party, who were pushed into third.

We expected a Reform hold here, but there was a surprisingly strong challenge from the Greens who came from nowhere to claim second place with almost a quarter of the vote.  Labour should be as deeply concerned about the rise of the Greens to their left as they are about Reform to their right.  With both insurgent parties set to pincer Labour in May, there is every likelihood that the Greens will win more council seats than Labour and - more worryingly for Labour - there is an outside chance Polanski's crazy gang could push Labour into fourth in both the Senedd and the Scottish Parliament.

We are currently witnessing the final weeks of Starmer's premiership, with a resignation likely in May.  If the scale of the electoral disaster is such, he will resign the morning after.  If he opts to cling on a wee bit longer, he will be forced out by cabinet resignations and a total collapse in PLP support.  Labour MPs and potential successors are now merely counting down the days.

Newquay Porth & Tretherras, Cornwall Council

Ref: 645 (30.2%) -7.7%

Grn: 529 (24.8%) New

Ind: 361 (16.9%) New

LDm: 349 (16.3%) -9.9%

Con: 132 (6.2%) -14.6%

Lab: 120 (5.6%) -9.6%

Ref HOLD

Wednesday's by-election was also triggered by the death of an incumbent, the 81-year-old Labour councillor having passed away due to old age.  This was an exceptionally strong Labour ward, with the party having won here in 2024 by more than 1,200 votes.  Despite this, we predicted a Green gain, but defeat to anyone here would have been indicative of the massive scale of Labour's looming electoral disaster in May.  Labour have controlled Salford since its inception as a metropolitan borough in 1974.

As it turned out, this previously solid left-wing ward opted for Reform with a huge swing from Labour.  We predicted that Labour would haemorrhage votes to both the Greens and Reform, but the swing was almost exclusively towards Reform.  The Greens slumped from second to third and ended up with less votes than they received in 2024, while a hard left independent endorsed by Your Party finished last.  The Greens only increased their vote share courtesy of Labour's almost 30 point dip against a low turnout.

This was a devastating result for Labour, but another first for Reform as they added their first Salford council seat.

Barton & Winton, Salford City Council

Ref: 676 (34.9%) New

Lab: 643 (33.2%) -29.1%

Grn: 363 (18.7%) +4.0%

Con: 118 (6.1%) -8.2%

LDm: 94 (4.9%) -3.8%

Ind: 44 (2.3%) New

Ref GAIN from Lab

There is now just one more council by-election before the May elections.

EJECTED FROM THE HOUSE OF LIES

Zarah Sultana and Lee Anderson would normally hold each other in the utmost of contempt, but on Monday the Commons watched as both of them were removed from the chamber for accusing the PM of lying.  It's a rare occasion in itself for one MP to be ordered out, but one after the other in the same sitting is almost unheard of.

MPs were responding to a statement from Keir Starmer in relation to the Mandelson scandal, in which he pointed the finger of blame at the Foreign Office and continued to deny any wrongdoing.  Reform's Lee Anderson told the PM that 'no-one believed him' and accused him of 'lying'.  Starmer stood hesitantly, while looking towards the Speaker, but Lindsay Hoyle was slow to react.  Eventually, Lindsay Hoyle interjected and told Anderson that 'we don't use those words' and asked him to withdraw his accusation.  In true Anderson style, the Ashfield MP doubled down and refused, adding: "That man couldn't lie straight in bed".

The Speaker then ordered Anderson out of the chamber.  Watch the exchange below.

A short while later the chamber was treated to the juvenile screeching of Your Party's Zarah Sultana.  Sultana's prepared statement accused Starmer of 'gaslighting the nation', before she accused him of being a 'bare-faced liar'.  She appeared to be about to demand his resignation when her microphone was cut and the Speaker interrupted.  On this occasion Hoyle was clearly upset and immediately demanded her departure.  With her microphone cut, her protestations about 'serving the interests of her constituents' was barely audible, but did nothing to placate Hoyle's ire.

Hoyle gave her multiple opportunities to comply, but like Anderson she doubled down and could be heard saying: "The Prime Minister is a liar".  However, whereas Anderson duly left the chamber, Sultana's repeated refusal led to her being 'named' by the Speaker.  This process means that Sultana is now suspended from the Commons for a period of several days (usually five), during which her salary is also put on hold.

As her statement appeared to be written in advance, this was probably a pre-conceived publicity stunt that Anderson had unwittingly usurped by being ejected first.  Whether or not she had initially intended to push the Speaker so far is not clear, but with Anderson having left in such a dignified manner, she may have wished to up the ante for maximum attention.

Watch the exchange below.

It never ceases to amaze how such a setting - frequented by hundreds of professional liars - can have such a process in place that punishes those who accuse colleagues of lying!

MEME MONDAY #79

It was a fairly quiet week for Karl, but things will pick up again soon.  The demise of Keir Starmer's premiership draws ever closer and Karl may well want to dispose of as many Starmer memes as possible.

Mon 13 Apr - 51 shares

Mon 13 Apr - 231 shares

Tue 14 Apr - 65 shares

Tue 14 Apr - 446 shares

Wed 15 Apr - 15 shares

Wed 15 Apr - 14 shares

Fri 17 Apr - 17 shares

Sun 19 Apr - 24 shares

Five Facebook Stories were unleashed last week, including the first in a new series that will showcase the most absurd Green candidates yet.

You can help us by purchasing a couple of metaphorical pints here or by donating via PayPal.  This helps keep things paid for and serves as a morale booster, showing that our efforts are truly appreciated.

Thank you.

BOATWATCH #55

It was the busiest week of the year to date, with a bumper set of arrivals on Saturday.  These numbers are more in line with recent years, coming after several relatively sparse weeks.  An uptick in arrivals as we head towards the May elections will do Starmer no favours when it comes to the scale of Labour's crushing defeat.  Why have several Prime Ministers failed to stop the boats?  They weren't meant to.

Total = 941 (up 571 from last week)

COUNCIL BY-ELECTIONS 16.04.26

It was all about Reform this week, with the party defending both of the two vacant seats.  After last week's surprise loss to the Greens, they were looking for a pair of holds and to prevent Polanski's crazy gang from hijacking their momentum.  Both vacancies arose through resignations of incumbents elected last May, both ostensibly on health grounds.  In Leicestershire the Reform councillor had been forced to issue a statement as to the motive for his departure, after it was linked to his poor attendance record.  The Northumberland councillor had also been accused of poor attendance, in addition to a lack of engagement with local residents.  Having confirmed he is being treated for kidney cancer, perhaps they could have cut him a little slack.

We expected podium finishes in Northumberland to go to Reform, the Conservatives and Greens, and probably in that order.  We also predicted a narrow Tory gain in Leicestershire, but as it turned out we got the results the wrong way around.  The narrow Tory gain actually came in Northumberland and Labour kept the Greens down in fourth place.

The Reform hold in Leicestershire was quite comfortable, with the party more than a thousand votes in front of the second placed Conservatives.  The presence of Advance UK did nothing to dent Reform's performance, with their rivals finishing in last place with just 28 votes.

Results have been slow to appear this week as we were both attending a funeral on Friday.

Narborough & Whetstone, Leicestershire County Council

Ref: 1,033 (33.0%) -9.3%

Con: 927 (29.6%) +5.1%

Grn: 884 (28.2%) +13.4%

LDm: 134 (4.3%) -3.6%

Lab: 124 (4.0%) -4.8%

Adv: 28 (0.9%) New

Ref HOLD

Cramlington South West, Northumberland County Council

Con: 278 (34.2%) +9.0%

Ref: 212 (26.1%) -13.3%

Lab: 187 (23.0%) -5.8%

Grn: 116 (14.3%) New

Ind: 13 (1.6%) New

LDm: 7 (0.9%) New

Con GAIN from Ref

TOON TUESDAY #99

Starmer was given a relatively easy ride last week, with most cartoonists choosing to focus on the Middle East.  There were also plenty of space travel references with regards to the Artemis mission to the far side of the Moon.

And so we begin with negotiations on the disastrous Iran conflict that is dismantling Trump's presidency and the movement he created, raised the cost of living for every single family across the entire West, killed thousands of Iranian civilians (including over a hundred schoolchildren in a single strike) and achieved nothing discernibly positive.  Nobody wins...

Ella Baron for The Observer

Patrick Chappatte for The Boston Globe

Tjeerd Royaards for Trouwe

Peter Brooke for The Times

Stanley McMurtry for The Mail on Sunday

Peter Brookes for The Times

Jimbob on X

Christian Adams for The Sunday Telegraph

Steve Bright for The Sun

Pete Songi for The Mirror

Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph

Josh on X

Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph

Patrick Blower for The Daily Telegraph

Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph

Ben Jennings for The Guardian

HM PRISON ABOLITION

Pink-haired weirdo Kate Nevens is one of the Green candidates for the Scottish Parliament regional list of Edinburgh and Lothians East.  In a campaign video posted to her Bluesky account (where else?) she discusses her desire to abolish the prison system: "Prisons are not safe, they're violent and they're poor for people's wellbeing".  Er, yeah, they're full of criminals you muppet.  They are where we send people who have been very, very naughty - as a punishment, a deterrent and to keep the rest of us safe.  Every single country on this planet has a prison system.

Prisons are not meant to be pleasant holiday homes you wet liberal, that would defeat their very purpose.  Needless to say, Kate is from the same university-educated class that turns a blind eye to all manner of crime, with the exception of the thought crimes they refer to as 'hate speech'.  As well as legalising hard drugs, she would probably decriminalise rape gangs in the name of progress and atonement for the colonial spread of the British Empire.

Watch Kate's prison pitch below, with Richey's input (four minute watch).

The Green Party is polling nationally at 16 per cent, level with Labour, according to the most recent YouGov poll,

MEME MONDAY #78

A quiet week by Karl's standards, but then he does have a day job.  Starmer's ban on Kanye West is a double feature, a tyrannical act which led to the cancellation of an entire music festival and the loss of income for over two thousand Brits.  The man hours otherwise generated by the Wireless Festival is equivalent to 52 full time jobs, that's in addition to the economic impact of thousands of fans and tourists flocking to the area, but which is now lost income for swathes of hostelries, stall-holders and local businesses.  Organisers have yet to confirm if the festival will even return next year.

All in the name of barring someone who may potentially say something that the regime doesn't endorse.  So much for free speech, well done Keir!

Mon 6 Apr - 76 shares

Mon 6 Apr - 6 shares

Wed 8 Apr - 81 shares

Sat 11 Apr - 46 shares

Sat 11 Apr - 65 shares.  Cartoon by Christian Adams

Sun 12 Apr - 45 shares

Sun 12 Apr - 171 shares

Four Facebook Stories were published last week, the very latest featuring the outgoing Prime Minister of Hungary with one of his trademark rails against mass migration...

Please show your appreciation for Karl's work by purchasing a couple of metaphorical pints here or by donating via PayPal.  Without your help, we falter and perish.

Thank you.

BOATWATCH #54

Five boats carrying 370 colonists were picked up last week, but the numbers could have surpassed 400 were it not for an incident that happened on Thursday.  Four colonists were attempting to board a small boat in deep waters when they were swept away to their doom by strong currents.  Three others were hospitalised during the same incident and a total of 38 returned to the French shore safely.  74 continued the journey and were picked up by collaborator vessels in British waters.

The boarding of small boats in deeper water is a recently adopted tactic.  It involves an operator sailing a dinghy adjacent to the shoreline to prearranged points where migrants dart across the beach and into the water.  The 27-year-old Sudanese driver of Thursday's vessel was later arrested and charged with endangering life, legal proceedings that will be billed to the British taxpayer - along with all the other consequences of this orchestrated colonisation.

A UK government spokesperson provided a glowing statement in relation to the four who died: "We are deeply saddened to hear about the deaths in French waters, every death in the Channel is a tragedy."

It's a shame the UK government doesn't show half as much sympathy towards British people who have been raped and murdered by boat migrants.

Total = 370 (up 45 from previous week)

COUNCIL BY-ELECTION 09.04.26

This week we had just one solitary by-election, a notional Reform defence in Kent.  The incumbent left office as an independent, having been disqualified after pleading guilty to controlling and coercive behaviour (towards his wife).  Cllr Daniel Taylor was arrested and charged just a month after being elected and was promptly suspended by Reform.  He was jailed for a year last month.

This will be the first council by-election since Reform took control of Kent in May and challengers will be seeking to turn it into a damaging referendum on their administration.  Reform were miles ahead of second-placed Labour in this ward last May, but that was before anyone had a chance to see what a Reform council would look like.  Things haven't exactly gone smoothly, which is perhaps no great surprise for a party whose rapid electoral success has outpaced its ability to organise itself.  The chaos in the council house, combined with the nature of the incumbent's dismissal, suggests that Reform will struggle in this by-election.

The Greens thought they could stage an unlikely gain here and bussed in activists, with even Zack Polanski hitting the campaign trail earlier this week.  They would require an exceptionally strong swing in a ward that is not traditionally left-oriented, having finished a distant fourth last May.  We fancied a Conservative gain, with the Greens overtaking Labour.  As it turned out, the Greens overtook everybody in what turned out to be a shock result.  The swing to the Greens mostly came at the expense of Labour, who slumped to fourth from second.  Not a terrible result for Reform, considering the background, but a result that the Greens will be crowing about for the next week.

Cliftonville, Kent County Council

Grn: 2,068 (38.8%) +26.7%

Ref: 1,767 (33.1%) -7.0%

Con: 811 (15.2%) -4.5%

Lab: 557 (10.4%) -11.6%

Ind: 68 (1.3%) New

LDm: 63 (1.2%) -1.9%

Grn GAIN from Ref

M&S PLEA FOR HELP

Stuart Machin and Thinus Keeve of Marks and Sparks

Top bosses at Marks and Spencers have issued desperate pleas for politicians to crack down on the scourge of shoplifting - a criminal act that affects us all through higher retail prices.  Chief executive Stuart Machin has written to the Home Secretary, while retail director Thinus Keeve has written to the London Mayor following the disturbing scenes in Clapham recently.

They know, as well as anyone else, that the problem is only going to get worse - with little, if anything, to deter the thieves.  Keeve's letter to Sadiq Khan was accompanied by a public statement (see below) in which he lashed out at the Mayor's policing policies, including a dig at Khan's repeated claims that 'crime is falling' and the absurd suggestion that 'London is one of the safest cities in the world'.

This is Mr Keeve's public statement in full, originally published on the company's website:

"I keep hearing crime is falling, especially in London - something none of us believe and very few people working in retail would see. In fact, we see the absolute opposite in our High Streets and in our stores, where our colleagues are on the receiving end of abuse and violence in their workplace every day.

It is becoming more brazen, more organised and more aggressive.

Across the UK, there were around 5.5 million incidents of shoplifting last year, and that excludes the vast number that go unreported. Every day, more than 1,600 retail workers face violence or abuse. This is not isolated. It is systemic and it is getting worse, not better.

And behind every statistic is a colleague who is simply trying to do their job and serve their customers.

As Retail Director at M&S, I see this reality every day. I see the hurt and listen to the concerns of colleagues and customers after an attack in a shop. 

In the past week alone we have had gangs forcing open locked cabinets and stripping shelves, two men brazenly emptying the shelves of steak and walking out, a large group of young people ransacking a store before assaulting a security guard, a colleague headbutted trying to defuse a situation and another hospitalised after having ammonia thrown in their face.

It is worse in London, but it is happening across the country, and it is becoming routine, because it seems there are no consequences. 

Our colleagues come to work to serve customers, build relationships and take pride in what they do. Instead, too many are dealing with theft, intimidation and verbal and physical abuse as part of their daily reality. That erodes confidence. It impacts wellbeing and it drives people out of the industry.

And that matters beyond retail.

Retail is where many people in the UK start their working lives. It is where confidence is built, skills are learned and careers begin. When stores become unsafe, we are not just failing retail workers. We are failing the next generation of the workforce.

The industry is not standing still. Retailers have invested billions in security, technology and loss prevention. At M&S we’ve invested more in the last year than ever before - tens of millions to protect our stores, our stock and most importantly our people, using tools like ‘Auror’, a crime fighting partnership which helps us identify repeat offenders and work more effectively with police forces.

But investment alone is not enough and the level of crime we face in so many communities is not something retailers can solve alone. We put in cameras, guards and systems, but it does not stop colleagues being abused or stores being damaged.

Without a government seriously cracking down on crime and a Mayor that prioritises effective policing we are powerless. We need a stronger, faster and more consistent police response, using tools that already exist to target repeat offenders and crime hotspots.

And we need far greater transparency on crime so the true scale and impact is understood and can be used to target resources.

That’s why our Chief Executive, Stuart Machin, has written to the Home Secretary and I’ve written to the Mayor of London, calling for exactly this. 

It’s a clear ask: Support our police. Help them show up in our communities when and where we need them. Give them the resources they need to tackle crime effectively and ensure they work with retailers to consistently use the tools we’ve developed to share data and help them actively target offenders.

This is not complicated. The capability exists. The data exists. The investment has been made. Time is up, we need to deal with this now.

Because every day this continues, colleagues are being verbally abused, threatened or worse. Every day, confidence in our high streets is being chipped away and this has to stop.

Retail is a cornerstone of the UK economy and a vital part of every community. But more than that, it is a human business. It depends on people feeling safe coming to work and safe walking into stores.

Right now, that is under threat, more than I have ever seen in decades of working in retail around the world.

We need to recognise this for what it is. A systemic issue. A growing issue. And one that demands a co-ordinated response across government, policing and industry.

Our colleagues deserve better."

Hear, hear.

The phenomenon of 'link-up looting', as seen in Clapham, is largely inspired by similar incidents that have plagued Californian cities in particular.  Mobs of youths arrange to meet up en masse to target shopping centres or specific stores, overwhelming security and police.  It has become such a problem in places like Los Angeles that smaller businesses have been forced to close permanently and bigger retail stores have threatened to leave the state altogether.

Incidents of mass looting usually coincides with school holidays and that's exactly what we saw recently over Easter, with the Clapham incidents followed by similar mobs targeting Birmingham city centre and a shopping centre in Milton Keynes.  The M&S guys would never admit it publicly, but this is the predictable result of a multi-cultural society paired with wider social decay, a collapse in morality and the complete absence of judicial deterrent.  

Those behind these recent orchestrated acts of lawlessness were quite possibly emboldened by the leftist looting that immediately preceded it.  Keffiyeh-clad leftists from the 'Take Back Power' group have filmed themselves brazenly filling shopping trolleys and walking out of supermarkets without paying for the goods.  These ideological thieves use Marxist language to justify their actions, claiming to 'redistribute food from the wealthy to those in need'.  Seeing as their actions will push up retail prices for everybody, this is complete nonsense.

With a combination of brazen communists styling themselves as modern day merry men (or merry they/thems), gangs of largely Afro-Caribbean youths on the rampage and the ever-spiralling cost of living, this year's summer school holidays could be chaotic.

TOON TUESDAY #98

A bit of a mixed bag this week, with references to defence, farm tax, the moon mission, price of oil, net zero and Easter.  We begin with Morten Morland's all-inclusive April Fools cartoon...

Morten Morland for The Times

Patrick Blower for The Daily Telegraph

Christian Adams for The Daily Telegraph

Patrick Blower for The Daily Telegraph

Morten Morland for The Times

Matt Pritchett for The Sunday Telegraph

Christian Adams for The Sunday Telegraph

Matt Pritchett for The Daily Telegraph

Jimbob on X