Monday 25 March 2019

EGG CHUCKER GETS 28 DAYS

John Murphy, the man who squashed an egg on Corbyn's head earlier this month, has received a 28 day prison sentence for assault.  The 31-year-old from Barnet pleaded guilty at Westminster Magistrate's Court today and was told that an example would be made of him as "attacks on MPs must stop".  It was an egg, not a grenade for goodness sake!

Mr Murphy was frustrated at Labour's recent Brexit policy u-turn and shouted "Respect the vote" as he egged the Great Leader.  Corbyn appeared at the hearing and laid it on thick saying: "The assault was completely unprovoked and threatening".  Apparently poor Jezza was left with a 'red mark'.

Diane Abbott was not at the hearing, despite being a witness and her previous assertion that Corbyn was 'punched'.  The word 'punch' was not mentioned during today's hearing, as we all know you cannot egg someone and punch them simultaneously with the same hand!

If sentencing and punishment is consistent then Murphy will be out in two weeks.  We'll leave the final word up to Diane...